Column 8

Sydney Morning Herald

Tuesday October 21, 2008

Our "collective nouns for posties" search has gone off at a tangent, as we knew it would, courtesy of Wayne Davies, of Gordon, who writes: "While on collective nouns, the other night at barbershop rehearsal we inadvertently came up with the definitive term for a minority part of the chorus: 'A dearth of baritones'. Their low representation is possibly due to having to sing Jingle Bells upside down in the minor key while fighting the indelible memory of the melody that we all know so well." We are not exactly sure what this means - technical barbershop talk, no doubt. Wayne goes on to say he is a member of the Sydneysiders Express Barbershop Chorus, and stresses that he is "not looking for a free plug." Gee, that's the least we can do - when's the next gig?

In the midst of all this croonery, we may have stumbled upon the solution to the original postie query - what were they all doing on Bobbin Head Road? "The assembled Australia Post employees mentioned by Jennifer Lorance were attending the annual Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation's Walk to Cure Diabetes," writes William Bonney, of that admirable organisation. "Given the kind souls at Australia Post have supported JDRF generously over a number of years, I suggest the collective noun should be a treasure of posties. Their generosity ensures the best Australian diabetes research continues to receive funding. We are grateful for their support."

"Beverley Brill, of Rose Bay, added to Lady Agatha's reflections on the various forms of 'tea' served in Australia last week," writes Ed de Crewis, of Swansea, and indeed she did, noting that "anyone growing up in Australia in the 1950s, with a reasonable bit of thrashing, learnt quickly that you drink tea and eat dinner". Ed is unimpressed. "All well and good for Rose Bay, I suppose, but Balmain being Balmain in the '50s, we always ate tea. Still do."

"Though being handicapped recently by a broken collar bone and only having the use of one arm, I'm still able to achieve most domestic chores bar one that I find impossible, and wonder if Column 8 can help?" writes Victor Marshall, of Erskineville. "How do you tie shoelaces with only one hand, or can it be done at all?" We are breathless in anticipation of written instructions for tying shoelaces one-handed. It would require a rare clarity of style.

"No wonder kids' grammar is bad," huffs Dan Meijer, of Willoughby. He has a point: "My little boy was given a birthday card for his first birthday on Friday. It says 'One year old's are lots of fun ...' The worst thing? It's a Play School card produced by the ABC - we thought we could rely on his Aunty!"

"Queensland Rail refused my NSW Seniors Card," writes Barbara Deece, of Bilambil Heights. "Now I hold it in front of the ticket seller with my thumb on the lower right hand corner, covering the NSW symbol. Works every time."